Gross

Sam: Mom, I think I know why you sometimes call me Stinker.
Me: Why?
Sam: 'Cause sometimes I burp from my bum.

Promise

Sam: Mom, I have a really big problem.
Me: What is it?
Sam: It's really big. Will you help me with it?
Me: Of course. What's going on?
Sam: I just don't know who to marry when I grow up. Will you help me decide?
Me: I absolutely will.

This is a promise I intend to make him let me keep.

And It Begins

I was in a rush the other day to get Sam out the door for preschool.

Let's be honest: We're always in a rush and running late. One morning I told Sam that if he didn't hurry he'd be the last one to school. He replied that being last would be fine with him. The last one in gets to shut the door, so thank you Miss Jamie for that.

But anyway, we were running late.
I had a pair of old scrubs on that I use as pajamas. I figured that I wear scrubs all the time and nobody would know if I'd slept in these. So, I hurried Sam out into the garage. He looked me up and down and asked, "Is that what you're wearing?"
"Yes." I answered. "Get in the car."
"Aren't you going to get dressed?"
"Nope."
"Don't you want to go put on a cute shirt?"
"Nope."
"Jeez Mom. This is going to be embarrassing."

Next week I'm wearing curlers and a bathrobe.

Paleontology and Visa

Sam has a set of dinosaur cards with dinosaur names and facts on them. One day he showed me this dinosaur's card.

According to Sam he has spikes and a club on his tail to protect himself from creditors.